October 17, 2017

Don’t serve a feedback sandwich: how to give constructive feedback in a more palatable way

October 17, 2017/ Halelly Azulay

Have you heard of the “feedback sandwich” or “compliment sandwich” approach?

This is feedback-giving advice that some people still dole out. And some people still practice.

And I hope (very much!) that after reading this post, you will not use it, ever again.

In this blog post, I’ll first describe what the feedback sandwich is, and why its proponents think it’s a good idea. I’ll then describe what’s wrong with it and what to do instead.

May 16, 2017

Make more “Me too!” moments

May 16, 2017/ Halelly Azulay

In this blog post, I explain what a "Me too!" moment is, and how we all experience them.

They happen naturally, frequently, and it’s a good thing – it helps us build bonds with others and have more positive interactions that lead to more trusting relationships.

But furthermore, when we recognize how and why this happens, we can actually also have more input into when and how often it does. Read more about it!

May 02, 2017

These words should be banished from our speech forever (are you guilty of using them?)

May 02, 2017/ Halelly Azulay

Have you ever uttered these words?

“Honestly…”

“Truthfully…”

“To be frank…”

“To tell you the truth…”

“To be candid…”

“Ain’t gonna lie…”

If these words ever come out of your mouth in conversation, this blog post is for you: Stop it. Just stop it. Let me explain.

May 17, 2016

4 common listening sins to avoid (if you want to build or strengthen your work and personal relationships)

May 17, 2016/ Halelly Azulay

I’m going to describe the four common listening sins to you, but first, a challenge:

Is there a chance that maybe, just maybe, you do this too?

If you’re being honest with yourself, your answer should be “Yes.” Because we all commit these listening sins from time to time.

Here are the four common listening sins -- do you recognize them?

December 15, 2015

Why email sucks (for really important conversations) [vlog]

December 15, 2015/ Halelly Azulay

Have you ever had someone react emotionally to an email you sent and catch you completely off-guard? Did you ever re-read and re-write the same email eleventy-million times before hitting 'send'? Do you want to communicate more effectively and not damage your relationships at work and otherwise? Watch this short video blog (vlog) to learn the common mistake many leaders and team members make when choosing email as their mode of communication when it comes to important conversations. Learn the science behind the negative reactions people often have to your carefully crafted emails and how to prevent these situations from happening. Improve your communication effectiveness and become a better leader.

September 15, 2015

Intention + interest + practice = communication success

September 15, 2015/ Halelly Azulay

I was facilitating a workshop on the three keys to communication success. We were talking about the need to consider the style and preference of the audience in shaping our communication approach when a participant spoke up.

“I hate when people do this. When my manager comes to talk to me and starts beating around the bush and giving me positive comments, I always get real skeptical and feel like there must be something bad or something more coming. I just want to tell him, “just come out with it! Give it to me straight!”.”

Here's what I told him.

August 18, 2015

3 tricks to take networking from icky to awesome [vlog]

August 18, 2015/ Halelly Azulay

Do you hate networking? Most people I meet do. But networking doesn't have to be a 4-letter word. In this video, leadership development strategist and communication expert Halelly Azulay will teach you 3 simple, easy tricks that will help you take networking from icky to awesome!

June 16, 2015

3 research-based tricks to help control emotions during critical conversations

June 16, 2015/ Halelly Azulay

Maybe your particular upcoming critical conversation doesn’t involve a rude conversation counterpart like the one in the story I tell in this blog post. But regardless, it’s got your attention and you’re probably feeling anxiety-ridden about it. It’s got you in its grip, am I right?

So when you know that you have an upcoming challenging conversation that may lead to conflict, disappointment, and/or disagreement (initially), how do you manage your own emotions effectively to stay productive and not get caught up in the emotional reaction swirl of fight, flight, or freeze?

The key to not reacting emotionally in critical conversations is to learn to regulate our emotions. Here are three tricks from research to help us regulate our emotions during critical conversations:

June 02, 2015

The common mistake we make during critical conversations and how to avoid it

June 02, 2015/ Halelly Azulay

Often, we go into critical conversations with a certain predetermined outcome we want. And while it's really good to have a goal for what we want to accomplish in the conversation, there's a risk to becoming attached to a particular solution or approach.

What I suggest is that you have a goal for what you want to accomplish, but that you stay tentative and open about HOW you will accomplish it and allow that to be co-developed DURING the conversation, with full involvement from your conversation partner(s).

April 21, 2015

The Top 10 Conversations Every Leader Should Have with Every Employee

April 21, 2015/ Halelly Azulay

Last week I visited sunny Ft. Lauderdale to speak at a financial services association’s conference about how to radically transform the way in which we do performance appraisals. The number one tip of the 5 best practices for a better performance management approach I shared with the audience is this: Make performance feedback an ongoing and informal practice. Ongoing, regular, and timely conversations with employees about performance, goals, career, and feedback contribute tremendously to their current and future level of performance and engagement at work. Here are my top 10 types of conversations that I think every leader should be having with every employee throughout each year:

March 03, 2015

Harness the power of your emotional intelligence!

March 03, 2015/ Halelly Azulay

You've heard the term emotional intelligence (aka EQ) bandied around. Do you know what it means? If not, you might have fallen for the common myth that being emotionally intelligent means being more emotional. That's really not the case. What being emotionally intelligent actually means is becoming more aware of your own and others' emotions, increasing your capacity to manage your own emotions and take into account those of others, so that you can increase your ability to be more, not less, rational in your actions. Your communication and your relationships will improve when you harness your emotional intelligence!

Read this post to learn more about what EQ is and how to harness it for improved communication.

January 06, 2015

What’s in a name: the what, why, and how of the name game for networking, personal branding, and building relationships

January 06, 2015/ Halelly Azulay

When I teach my clients about networking, personal branding, communicating, and connecting meaningfully with others, the subject of names comes up often. Many, if not most, people I work with admit they have a hard time remembering names. Some people think it’s just the way it is, and some people feel ill-at-ease about it.

Here’s a brief summary of the “what”, “why”, and “how” of the name-game: what is wrapped up in names, why you should make an effort around names, and how to help others learn yours as well as how to learn and remember other people’s names more easily.

November 19, 2014

How to Power Up Your Workplace Presentations

November 19, 2014/ Halelly Azulay

Guest Post by Alexia Vernon: While there is little more painful than seeing and hearing a speaker deliver inaccurate, incomplete, or unhelpful content, one thing that is at least equally painful is when someone has so much expertise she or he doesn't know how to make it meaningful for an audience. Here are my top 3 ways to ensure that your next presentation, whether it’s just at a departmental meeting or in front of a large group of employees, is memorable AND translates into the action you want to see from your people.

September 23, 2014

7 Surefire Tricks for Being a More Engaging Communicator

September 23, 2014/ Halelly Azulay

Whether in casual conversations or business presentations, one-on-one or with a group, getting others to be drawn into and engaged with you is important if you want to get your message across successfully and leave them wanting more. Here are seven surefire tricks that will help you be a people magnet and become more engaging in your communication interactions:

July 01, 2014

Handshaking: What is it good for? [Part 3 of 3]

July 01, 2014/ Halelly Azulay

Have you ever stopped to think about the practice of shaking hands with people we meet in business functions and meetings? Why do we do it? Does it still make sense in this day and age? And do the rules about the proper protocol for how to shake hands still hold or should they be revised with time and progress in our society? Do other societies and cultural groups also use this practice and do the same norms apply there (as my friend Marina Kraus asked me)? My colleague Larry Straining added: “Is there an appropriate order (or hierarchy) for shaking hands in a group. Right to left? Ladies first? Age? Position?”

In this three-part series on handshaking, I will attempt to answer some of the questions that abound about the practice of handshaking in business. In Part 1, we’ll review why we shake hands in the first place, what your handshake says about you, and consider whether we should keep shaking hands or quit this practice altogether. In Part 2, we’ll explore whether handshaking is culture-specific or universal. And in Part 3, we’ll examine what other options we have and a list of Do’s and Don’ts to help us all practice proper handshaking protocol (say that three times fast ;) ).

Read Part 3 now...

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