7 Surefire Tricks for Being a More Engaging Communicator
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Have you ever had a conversation with someone who was utterly magnetic? You were mesmerized by them, drawn in to them, and felt genuinely interested in the conversation. You were at ease, relaxed, and your defenses were down. They made you feel good and important. They seemed sincerely interested in your stories and wanted to know more about you.
You've probably also experienced the other end of the spectrum of magnetic communication: In this interaction, the other person made you feel insignificant or dumb, lowly or unworthy. Or maybe you felt bored and disinterested in continuing the conversation. And when you walked away, you felt drained, anxious, or deflated. Yuck!
How do you ensure that your communication to has the right impact on others? How do you create a magnetic, engaging effect in your interactions?
Ways to be more engaging in your interactions
Whether in casual conversations or business presentations, one-on-one or with a group, getting others to be drawn into and engaged with you is important if you want to get your message across successfully and leave them wanting more. Here are seven surefire tricks that will help you be a people magnet and become more engaging in your communication interactions:
1. Exude confident benevolence. That means be confident without being cocky. Be self-assured without being aloof. People want to sense you know your stuff but they also need reassurance that you care about them. The combination of confidence and benevolence is a powerful one.
2. Show enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is the ‘secret sauce’ of highly engaging people. There is something so compelling about being in the presence of someone who is genuinely enthusiastic. It’s magnetic.
3. Be interested to be interesting. Sometimes we worry that we don’t have anything enticing to share. Will others find us interesting enough? Can we hold their attention? What's amazing is, the more interest you show in others and their ideas, the more attracted they will be to speak with you. When you show interest, you become interesting.
4. Exhibit authenticity. We can usually smell "fake" from a mile away. Sometimes when we try to make a good impression, we try to impress or fit what we think others expect of us. But ultimately, you can’t really sustain their interest for long when you’re trying to be someone else. Focus on being yourself and your authenticity will be your differentiating factor.
5. Be congruent. Similar to authenticity, being congruent means ensuring that the words we speak are in complete alignment with our non-verbal communication. When there’s any kind of a mismatch between the verbal and non-verbal message, people gravitate toward believing the message that your non-verbals convey as your true intentions. So walk your talk.
6. Project openness. Be approachable and willing to consider others’ perspectives and points of view. In our effort to establish credibility we can err on coming across as closed, self-absorbed, or arrogant. It's like we erect a wall around us. To avoid seeming cold and distant you must work on adapting an open, disarmed approach. This will have a reciprocal disarming effect on others.
7. Demonstrate trust. To be trusted you must trust others first. Additionally, to earn trust you must demonstrate trustworthiness. Many of the other behaviors on this list will help you earn trust. One other: always do what you said you’ll do, and be willing to give others the benefit of the doubt that they’ll do the same. The principles of reciprocity work in spades when it comes to trust among people.
Bottom line:
If you employ these seven tricks, you will become a more engaging conversationalist, speaker, presenter, influencer, and leader. Then, you’ll have a better chance of getting what you need and creating more positive impact in your relationships and work.
What tricks have you tried that worked in magnetizing your audience or one or many? Share them in the comments and let’s get a discussion going!
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